Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He told me they were just razor bumps!
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
