I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
