Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
