She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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