After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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