But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
