did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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