Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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