This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
