I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
