some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
