she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
