glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize