Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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