Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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