Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
