what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
