He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
