I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
