Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I am midnight drunk by noon
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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