That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
