i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
