I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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