I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
