That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
