I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
