watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
