If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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