from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
