i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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