yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
