Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
being pregnant is like rehab
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
