Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
