Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
