i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
