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You really coming over, don't trick.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
