I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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