so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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