My friends, they love my intelligence
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
and you fell through a lawn chair
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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