pedialite and red bull = repair kit
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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