Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Randomize
