where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
