Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
