Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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