I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
