We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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