My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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