I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
