dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
