If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
