just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
